Soldieress' Lament
by rileypotter17
Summary: Nymphadora Tonks is given an assignment to seduce Lucius Malfoy for information that could possibly save Harry Potter's life, but while she finds herself in Lucius' bed, she also begins to fall for the aloof Professor, Remus Lupin, which complicates everything. Smut with plot. Tonks/Remus, Tonks/Lucius.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey everyone! This is a new story with two main pairings I have never done before. The timeline will roughly follow canon and some canon events, but there will be some changes and in many ways, this is an AU story. This story is mature and does feature a 'rare pairing' so please, no flames if you do not like the pairings. You have been warned. Also, Benkins1 will be helping me out here!**

**~o0o~**

**July, 1995**

**~o0o~**

"Nymphadora Tonks, it is quite a pleasure to finally meet you. Kingsley has told me so much about you," Dumbledore gave the young Auror a small smile when she stepped into his office at Hogwarts. She had been sent there by Kingsley Shacklebolt under the orders that Dumbledore needed a favor from her. Now the twenty-two year old woman with the striking pink hair was simply trying not to wreck any of Dumbledore's artifacts littering every surface of the office with her inherent clumsiness.

"If you could just call me Tonks…" she requested and he nodded, stepping out from behind his desk. He moved over to Fawkes, his phoenix, and gently ran a withered hand down the bird's tail feathers.

"I trust you know that whatever I request of you today will stay between us unless a time comes where I say otherwise?"

"Of course," Dora told him. Six months ago she had become a member of the Order of the Phoenix, a group reinstated from the previous war against Voldemort by Dumbledore himself. So far, their ranks included herself, Molly and Arthur Weasley, Kingsley, and her superior, Alastor Moody. There was talk that others would be joining, but Tonks was not told much of anything. This lack of information was why she was so surprised to find herself in a private conference with the man leading this mysterious initiative against the Dark Lord.

"I have seen an opportunity for a spy to infiltrate the ranks of the Death Eaters and I do believe you are the very best hope we have." Dumbledore's voice was calm and level, but Tonks was instantly excited. All she had wanted, since her first years at Hogwarts, was to become an Auror. And now, she had been hand-picked to fight from the inside by the greatest living Wizard. There was no doubt she was confident in her abilities and this only further proved that. She was one of the youngest professional Aurors in years, which was also why Dumbledore saw so much potential in her, along with her other remarkable ability.

"Thank you sir," she grinned, reaching out to shake his hand, her hair turning even more florescent from the excitement.

"This position will require the utmost discretion. No one in the Order will know what you are doing. If you reveal yourself in any way in front of the Death Eaters, I am afraid the consequences are too grim to describe at present, do you understand?"

"Of course. I suspect you will want me to use my Metamorphagus abilities…" she shrugged. It was a skill she was proud of, and had just recently totally been able to control. She didn't love that it was that very skill that got her so much attention, but if it placed her in an important position, she wouldn't argue with it.

"Not only those, but they will provide some help, yes…" Dumbledore mused, the wrinkles covering his face becoming more pronounced as he frowned, "I am not sure how aware you are with the goings-on of the current Death Eaters?"

"Aware enough. Some of them haven't exactly been keeping a low profile lately since what happened at the Triwizard Tournament," Tonks sighed. Every time that Voldemort seemed to disappear once again, some Death Eaters thought themselves protected within society, which resulted in the throwing of large parties…what was the particular case for one specific family.

"I assume you have a certain Death Eater in mind when you say that?" he smirked.

"Malfoy, yeah. He's in the Ministry practically every damn day like he owns it," Tonks groaned when she thought of the haughty, blonde man strolling into the Auror office with signed papers from the obviously corrupt Minister that prevented any more searches from taking place on his property.

"His recent behavior has proven to me that he is the key to you getting access to the Death Eater's plans. As you know, Harry Potter will be moved from his Aunt and Uncle's house in two weeks to the new Order Headquarters. The boy is at a considerable risk, so the earliest that you can gain access to any pertinent information, the safer he will be."

Tonks agreed, "But what does Malfoy have to do with anything other than living under a false sense of security?"

"You are to become his mistress." The words left Dumbledore's mouth as if they were the simplest fact in the world, but her eyes went wide in disbelief. This was certainly not what she had been expecting.

"I'm sorry, Headmaster, but I thought you were requesting for me to perform a task, not whore myself out for that scum!" She didn't care about her language; she knew she was a better Auror than to use her body to pry information out of some bigot, "Why can't I metamorphasize into someone who works in his office? Maybe a friend or confidant he doesn't often see?"

Dumbledore was worried that she might be hesitant about the nature of his assignment, but he couldn't afford to lose her as an asset. "Tonks, I understand what I am asking is repulsive and degrading to you. I also know that this assignment will change all aspects of your current life. But _please_…consider it. We have Harry to worry about, and as long as Harry is safe, I know that there will be a day when Voldemort will not be a stain on this earth. If there was another way, I wouldn't ask such a thing of you. But Lucius Malfoy is a smart man with only one weakness…beautiful women."

Tonks looked at the ground and the dirty tops of her combat boots. It was starting to become clear to her. She trusted Dumbledore, and if he truly felt that Lucius' secrets would be divulged during some pillow talk, then hopefully she could get what she needed from him quickly and as painlessly as possible, "But what about my Aunt?"

"You will be disguising yourself and you won't use your given name. But if everything goes according to plan, Narcissa will never know you exist. It isn't the first time he's been unfaithful to her, but hopefully it will be the last. I heard it is rather hard to carry on an affair in Azkaban," Dumbledore continued and she appreciated the levity of his remark, but the twinkle in his eye was gone as quickly as it came, "We will meet once weekly in this office. I suggest you start practicing your alter-ego and making sure that it is consistent before we begin. I know this is quite a lot to think about, but I do hope you agree…"

"I'll do it, sir," Tonks cut him off. She couldn't imagine sleeping with a man like that, but there are spells to numb her mind and body if need be. This could be the beginning of the end of Voldemort and if she refused to help, she couldn't forgive herself, "Is there anything else?"

Dumbledore considered her question for a moment, the corner of his mouth twitching upward like he knew something he wasn't going to reveal to her, "Tonks. I don't think it would be wise of you to have any relationship with another man at this time. You must be completely focused on the assignment."

She laughed. Loudly. Her love life at the moment was just that-laughable and nonexistent. She thought it ironic that she was about to get more action than she had in prior months, all with a man she detested. She promised Dumbledore he had nothing to worry about and they made plans for a meeting one week before Harry was to be moved.

**~o0o~**

Two nights after her next meeting with Dumbledore, Tonks couldn't help but think the man knew about that very moment. The moment she walked into Number 12 Grimmauld Place for the first time and saw _him_.

She knew Dumbledore was not a Seer, but his warning to her to not start a relationship filled her mind when she shook hands with Remus Lupin for the very first time. The man was introduced to her by Molly Weasley as a former Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor at Hogwarts and a good friend to their family. He was joining the Order, but she was hardly listening to what Molly was bragging to her about him. His hazel eyes were all that she could concentrate on and it scared her. She rarely ever got caught up in a man so fast and felt childish for doing so, especially when he didn't give her anything more than a polite nod after she told him her name. _Don't get ahead of yourself babe, he's definitely not looking for any relationship with you, _she thought.

Grimmauld was a nightmare for her klutziness, but it was the safest place to be Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, even if it did look like it needed a major scrub-down. Molly was fussing over her hair as she led her and Remus to the kitchen, where the man she had previously been looking forward to seeing the most was sitting.

"Baby cousin, what a sight for sore eyes," Sirius Black immediately got up from the table and rushed to Tonks, embracing her in a strong hug. She had never known him as an adult; she only had some fragmented memories of meeting him as a little child, when he was at Hogwarts, but still his hug felt like she was home again. With her mother and father dead, he was the only one left besides her horrible Aunts.

"This is your cousin?" Remus spoke up and Tonks broke the hug from Sirius at his words. He was already making her jumpy and she hated that.

"Of course, can't you see the family resemblance? She's gorgeous. So am I. And she's part of the Order, so that makes her the only blood on my side right now," Sirius winked at Tonks and then looked at the others in the room, "Just waiting for Snivellus and we can get started."

Tonks tried her best to avoid Remus' eyes and instead focused on the comforting, if slightly drawn, faces of the Weasleys and their oldest, Bill, and the familiar ones of Kingsley and Alastor. She couldn't get caught up in a stupid crush on a man at this moment in time. Not when in a mere few days she would be trying to work her way into Lucius Mafoy's bed. She was thankful, but slightly hurt, that Remus went out of his way not to speak to her or look at her throughout the course of their meeting to plan the safe delivery of Harry from his Aunt and Uncle's to this location. To distract herself from worrying about what this stranger might be thinking about her, she allowed her mind to drift to how happy she was that Sirius was free from Azkaban, out of hiding, and looking well. Although she hadn't been in contact with him since she was young, she always worried about him and never once doubted his innocence when she saw the haunted and tortured image of him in the Daily Prophet. She found herself leaning into him often, wishing that she could divulge Dumbledore's plan for her to him, but knew she never could. She watched the interaction between her cousin and Remus and the slightly greasy raven-haired man that was late to the meeting and extremely pale. It was clear that Sirius had incredible disdain for this Professor Snape and made it clear, even though they would all be working together in this fight against the Death Eaters and Dark Lord, that he would never trust him and the made a note to ask them why the next time they were alone.

Tonks was offered a bedroom by Sirius when the meeting finally ended at well past one in the morning, but she declined. She wanted to be able to return home and continue practicing metamorphasizing into the alter-ego she had devised for Dumbledore. Nothing could be left to chance and she had to know the way that particular transformation felt by heart so that she could do it without thinking and maintain it no matter what her emotions tried to do to her appearance. She gave her cousin a grateful hug goodbye and left the warded and invisible residence before Remus Lupin could come out of the kitchen and distract her once more.

**A/N: This is just a little taste…just the beginning! There will be lots of lemons, lies, intrigue, and some romance, so stay with me! This story is titled after a song by Molotov Jukebox, which is Natalia Tena's fantastic band.**


	2. Transformation

**A/N: Thanks for reading this story and I would love a review or your thoughts! Enjoy! Xx**

**~o0o~**

"I assume this meeting is for you to finally let me know what the next move is going to be?" Tonks walked into Dumbledore's office exasperated and exhausted from tirelessly preparing for her new role.

"Only if you have something to show me, Tonks. Only then," Dumbledore gave her a knowing look in return, moving from his pensieve where he had been standing when she walked in, to behind his desk, sinking into the high-backed chair there.

Tonks moved to the middle of his circular office and closed her eyes. She had been practicing so hard that it only took a few moments for her to change and she was confident that it was complete when her eyes fluttered open and she looked at him.

"Name?" Dumbledora asked, studying her, his eyes moving over her new features, carefully looking for any flaws.

"Alexandria."

"I have a surname for you, but we'll discuss that in a moment. Do you feel absolutely comfortable with this version of yourself?"

Tonks nodded. She had changed at least fifty times into this woman now. She had carefully thought about what she would look like and constantly checked to make sure nothing was varying. She studied exactly the way she felt in this new body so that it would come as second nature. She had never metamorphasized into the same person over and over like this and she had never before had to do it for hours. She knew this was the most important change she would ever be making and she wanted it to be perfect.

Tonks stood before Dumbledore as 'Alexandria', a woman she hoped would capture Lucius' attentions. She tried to keep a few things the same to ease the complicated nature of this transformation in some ways: her height, her shoe size, the length of her fingers, and her nose. But everything else was new. Instead of a pinkish-purple pixie, her hair was dark brown, nearly black, and fell to the tops of her breasts, stick straight. The under-most layers of her hair were a deep red color, very subtle, but striking and unique as it framed her face. She didn't want to blend into any crowd that Lucius would be a part of. Her eyes were now green, widened slightly, to make her look a bit more innocent, and her lips a bit plumper.

Normally, Tonks was curvier and liked that, but she had forced herself to be comfortable in this new, waify body. Her hips were much slimmer, as was her waist, her breasts now only mere handfuls instead of double that like they usually were. She wanted to evoke something delicate and aristocratic; sexy, but not too much so. Her arms and legs were now slim and less muscular and creamy pale instead of bruised and scarred from her Auror training. She had practiced speaking slower too, and walking more gracefully. Nothing could be left to chance.

"It's quite good. I am very impressed," Dumbledore broke into a small smile, "Now. The Malfoys are hosting a ball at their Manor this Saturday evening. I've already secured you a place. It isn't a private event, but since the large admission fee is donated to the 'charitable cause' of rebuilding some of the Knockturn Alley buildings after the recent fire, no one will be there that is unsympathetic to Voldemort.

"Should be easy enough," Tonks nodded, trying to affect her voice so it sounded just different enough from her normal rambling, excited speech, of which her cousin was also prone to.

"What happens at this party is for you to decide. The pace that you set with Lucius is entirely up to you, but I urge you to not take too long in getting him to trust you. You will be on the guest list as Ms. Tate. The Tates are a very old pureblood family that lived in Essex, but the family line supposedly stopped with Horatio Tate, who will be known as your father. Fortunately for us, Horatio and his wife recently died of dragonpox. They shied from Voldemort the first time, but as their daughter, who they have been hiding in France at Beauxbatons, you would like to prove your loyalty _now_," Dumbledore explained as she soaked in the details of her double life.

"I understand. Is there anything else I should know?" She tried to swallow down the lump forming in her throat from the reality of all of this, but couldn't.

"Tread carefully. Narcissa will be watching you when you get too close, and nothing about your body language can be that of a Black. She'll know. Be eager and inquisitive with Lucius, but never desperate. This is very important."

"I'll do everything I can. I won't let you, or Harry, or the Order down."

**~o0o~**

"Darling, come undone for me…" Lucius Malfoy begged his wife, pressing his forehead against hers, pistoning his hips erratically, trying to hold onto the thread of control he has left. Her sharp scream right against his ear and the arching of her back up from the sweat-laced sheets made him clutch her hip bone, searching for something-_anything_ to hold onto as his body shakes and his spills himself inside of her.

"Lucius," Narcissa sighed against his cheek, holding him close, not caring that the weight of his body was stifling. His breath comes in increasingly less frantic shudders and finally, he rolls off of her, "Can you let me be for a moment?"

It is a phrase he has come to know. Has come to learn what it means over the last few months. After giving her a kiss on the cheek, he gets out of the bed, not bothering to even put a robe on, as there is no one in the manor but the pair of them. He leaves their bedroom and walks across the dark hall to his study solely for the promise of the expensive firewhiskey in the glass decanter on his desk.

As he sips his vice and starts a fire in the fireplace with his wand, he thinks about his wife, his prick still wet from her. He's not worried-the summons to Voldemort are rare and he can entertain, dine in public, and enjoy the perks of his position at the Ministry without much interference or outward disdain from anyone else. But his wife is, about everything from their son, to when Voldemort will request their presence; to this ridiculous party she wanted to host this weekend. Every time after they have made love in recent months, she wants to be alone. She's constantly afraid that this happiness is going to leave them, and she's absolutely exhausted for hours after every round of fucking.

_Well, we both aren't getting any younger_, Lucius notes, taking another sip of his drink. He'd give anything for a little bit of youth. He sees it in the mirror in the morning-the fine lines around his eyes, all over, really. But Narcissa, although he loves her, isn't the same pureblood beauty she used to be. Her breasts are starting to sag and her cunt isn't the same, although he knows that's no fault but his own. He just wishes they could go back ten years.

As he finishes his drink and proceeds to slump into the leather chair in front of the fire, idly playing with his cock, stroking it back to life, he thinks it might not hurt to discreetly look for someone on the side. He hasn't had a mistress since Narcissa was pregnant with Draco when he had no time or desire to wait around nine months to have a decent fuck with her. But maybe, he wonders, it might be time to go down that path again.

**~o0o~**

"You have a crush on him," Sirius stated matter-of-factly as he looked at his younger cousin sitting across from him in the den of Grimmauld. It was half past one in the morning and both are slightly pissed. She had wanted to go home after the Order meeting, with now only one day left before the Malfoy's ball to prepare, but decided that some time with her only sane family was a better deal.

"I bloody well do not," she blushed. Had she really made it that obvious? She wonders, but considering she had tuned out half the meeting in favor of looking at Remus' perfect five-o'clock shadow, he may have a valid point.

"He may be my best friend, but you are too good for him," Sirius said, reaching for the bottle of cheap mead siting between them and drinking straight from it. They had both forgone glasses hours ago.

"You keep saying these things like I care…" she tries to play it tough, but even after lifetimes of being only names to one another, he knows her better than most.

"You do. It's been all over your face all night. Thank Merlin he's naïve enough to not notice. You just need to get laid, that's all. It will work out of your system," he brushes it off and she wonders if he is right. Maybe fucking Lucius Malfoy won't be bad at all. It's been a hell of a long time since any guy touched her.

"You don't think there's a chance at all with him?" She leaned forward in her chair, everything in the room slightly blurry and her stomach warm.

"You could take off all of your clothes and stand naked in front of him and he probably still wouldn't notice. Bloke's in his own world right now. It's best you leave it be," Sirius advised, glassy-eyed. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to get broken-hearted that he cared about.

"I think I may go up, if that's okay…" she yawned, untucking her legs from under her and standing up.

"Had Kreacher make you up a room. Second door on the left, third floor," he nods, winking her a 'goodnight' before tucking in to finish the rest of the bottle. She stumbles up the creaky stairs, desperately holding onto the railing to not lose her footing and wake up the whole house.

"Shite, what the hell, _Lumos_" a bright light from the tip of a wand is blinding Tonks right after she ran into something hard, which she thought was a door and not a man.

"Remus?"

"_Nymphadora_?"

"I've told you how many times…" she grumbles at his use of her given name, but then realizes that she's inches away from the man she has a ridiculous crush on and he's in his boxers waving a light in her face, which is pissing her off, "Can you stop, I'm right fucking here…"

"Are you drunk?" He finally stops the spell and they plunge back into darkness, but he places a hand on her arm so she knows where she is. She feels dizzy and nervous and is secretly glad he is there to steady her.

"Sirius and I were downstairs getting pissed, I'm sorry if I woke you up," she apologizes, whispering, and she feels him shift his weight to the other foot, his palm slightly tightening on her upper arm.

"I couldn't sleep. I was just going downstairs to have some tea. Why don't I help you to your room?" His voice is tense and she feels almost like a teenager being caught out late and she mumbles 'yes'. In a second the light from his wand is guiding them up the last flight of stairs to where her room is and she's standing just a breath away from him, awkwardly trying not to sway now that she's really feeling how much she just drank.

"Erm, thank you Remus…"

"It was nothing," he takes his hand off of her and turns to go back down the stairs without another word. She leans against her door, watching the light from his wand fade away and then goes inside and throws herself on top of the comforter, groaning into it, before falling dead asleep.

**A/N: Next comes this party! Thanks for reading!**


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